Well Well Well..
Hey, hi, hello.
I’ll be honest, I’m a little bummed right now. I had a really great day today and have just been challenged once again by another set back.
This morning I woke up at 5:30am, got up and fixed my silly little hair and made my way to work at 6:30am. I was bartending today and I was curious to see how it was going to go because there has been a lot of people getting staffed at work since we are a new store. But today there was only a few of us on and I was able to be steady the whole entire time and had a really chill mediocre day; but in the best way possible.
I left work with a smile because it was super chill and I was excited to come home and brainstorm on what my next moves are with this website and shit.
However, when I got home, I got distracted and then decided to head to the beach to watch the sunset.
While I was heading to the beach I was reflecting on a lot of self doubts that I have been having recently.
I’ve been reflecting heavily on whether or not I want to pursue this journey with Amway. But my gut is telling me that I would be silly to walk away from this opportunity like this because I have been hoping for opportunities and doors to open in my life for positive people and that’s exactly what everyone in Amway is. They’re all about personal development and improvement. Which is something that I have needed for quite some time.
I’m the only person that I personally know who is on a self improvement journey such as the one that I am. But then whenever I attend the Amway meetings, I find myself separating myself from others and subconsciously believing that they are better than me in some way, shape, or form. Which is so fucking stupid because I discredit myself so much.. it’s fucking sad.
I have this complex where I think I’m hot shit when I’m by myself, but then when I’m in a room full of people that are more “successful” than me, my confidence goes away in a heartbeat.
I feel like I bring so much to the table with anything that I do and I just compare compare compare to the point that it gets the best of me sometimes and trickles into a never ending spiral of self-doubt.
But I’m sick and tired of being a victim to my circumstances.
While I was at the beach, I was listening to an audio that had to do with the secret to success. Basically in the audio, a pastor, Paul Tsika, explains that there is no secret to success. Everyone knows the tasks that they should be completing to be successful, but for some reason never take action.
People who are successful do the work to become successful. That is the only difference between someone who is successful and someone who is unsuccessful.
He also eliminates the idea of “trying” and how we should eliminate that word from our vocabulary. He suggested switching to “I am committed to...” with I am “trying” because it reinforces that you are actively working towards something and “trying” just sounds kind of half-assed.
For example, for so long I have been talking about how I’ve been trying to do so many things in my life, but to be fully transparent with you, anytime I have been saying that I’ve been trying, I really have been, but that thought of me “trying” subconsciously places a victim mindset to my circumstances.
So that being said, I am committed to creating a better life for myself. I have to stand firmly and believe that everything is happening in my favor regardless if it seems to be positive or negative.
AKA after enjoying my beautiful day, I went to the gym and had a kick-ass work out. I left the gym feeling pumped (hence the picture of this blog post hehe) and then when I got into my car, I was thinking about ways that I can be successful with Amway. However, when I went to pull out of my parking spot, I saw a big' ol orange light on my dashboard. My fricking check engine light -.-
I had to take a few deep breaths because my car has been consuming a lot of my income this year. I have spent over $4,000 in car related shit this year and every time I feel like I am about to take a step forward, something comes up with my car that makes me feel like I’m taking five steps back.
Last year, I had attended a service at First Unity Spiritual Campus in St. Petersburg, FL and Reverend Jon Scott had mentioned something in his sermon that still sticks with me to this day. Which is that all of our set backs are setting us up for whatever God has in store for us. So I am committed to not allowing my negative emotions take over my mind with this damn check engine light.
I had to remind myself this like 50 times on my 3 minute car ride home from the gym because I was really getting upset with the fact that I feel like every time I am about to take a step forward, life throws a hurdle at me which causes a speed bump in whatever the fuck that I am doing.
Honestly though, I find it ironic that my check engine light came on because earlier this evening, I was watching a video on Youtube by Quazi Johir called “This ancient math shifted me to a parallel timeline” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UUz3wgCXwg&t=411s)
In this video, Quazi explains three different types of attentions.
Positive Attention
Negative Attention
Neutral Attention
And wherever our attention goes, our energy goes as well.
Quazi also mentions, “when we give our attention to whatever event that is happening in our lives, there is a likelihood that it materializes into reality.”
Whatever we give our attention to, that reality will manifest. And these three different types of attention determine how our reality will shape us.
For example, if I were to view the fact that my check engine light is negative, it would shift following events that seem to also be negative in my lifeline.
But if I were to view it with positive attention that this is setting me up for success in the future, then this positive attention will shift me into lifelines that will tend to be more positive. If that makes sense?
After explaining positive and negative attention, Quazi dives into neutral attention. This type of attention has the power to dissolve reality. Meaning that we are no longer attached to the circumstances/events that are currently taking place. While the other two types of attention have the power to attract/repel different realities.
If I change my perspective to view this as a positive experience, I am going to obtain positive outcomes. Which the last time this happened, I was given the opportunity to be introduced to Amway.
Quazi had also mentioned that anytime we are faced with an event that could initially be viewed as a negative experience, ask ourselves, “how could this be a blessing in disguise?” and if we can’t come up with anything, to at least find a way to give this event neutral attention, that way no negative lifelines stem from this event.
That is pretty much the jist of my day.
Keeping my head up as my car is going to have to get checked once again :)
And with all that being said, see you on the flippy side.
Love always,
Kyrin.
