Tsk Tsk
Hey, it me. I hope your week has been good so far. My week has been okay. It’s March 12th, and I have yet to still pay my portion of rent. I worked this past weekend and made money but I won’t get that money until this Thursday :(
I’ve been in my head a lot these past few days because I have not struggled this bad financially in a minute. But now that I am, it’s just embarrassing. Like I am 28 years old.. I should be doing better. That being said though, I shouldn’t be comparing where I “should” be at in life when this is all a part of the journey and I need to understand that this is all a part of the process.
I KNOW I am going to have a successful future because that is the direction that I am heading in. But coming from a place where I have nothing to show for, I hope it makes life so much sweeter when I don’t have the weight of all my debts and burdens weighing down on me.
I’ve been so broke that I have been physically uncomfortable with being inside my body, wearing the clothes that I have, and even looking at my reflection. Everything has just been making me uncomfortable and I hate that feeling. Yet.. it’s been something that I have been dealing with a lot lately.
The guy that I am seeing says “Inside, I am rich. Outside, maybe like 5 years or so.” And that’s been something that’s been giving me hope for the future.
Everything is all about your mindset, and if you really believe in something, your subconscious is going to do everything in its power to make sure that whatever you believe in, will become your reality. Not to get all “woke” on you.
But seriously. We are all constantly telling ourselves a story that we believe so why not come up with a better story to tell ourselves and see what happens.
Yes my bank account is low right now and I am behind on bills.. but ya know what? I have a roof over my head still (thank God and my amazing sister), I live in Florida with some of my closest people in my life, and I am constantly working on myself and creating goals and projects in this life to achieve so I feel fulfilled.
Idk if that last sentence made sense because I’m a little high rn (surprise, surprise).. you know the vibes.
I’m also currently watching Avatar The Last Airbender: Season 3 Episode: PuppetMaster with Hama. The live action has got me rewatching some of the cartoon series again. That shit is wild to me too because there’s so much symbolism in the show. I’ve been thinking a lot about my chakras and what I’ve been needing to let go in my life to become the best version of me.
Since the time change, the air feels different. The sun still shining at 7pm and there’s a lil sumn sumn in the air. Here in Florida, it’s pollen (hehe).
But it’s Spring and summer is officially in a few months!
I turn 29 in September and I don’t want my life to be how it is now. I don’t want to worry so much about money and I want to work my ass off in order to make it happen.
These past couple months I have really impressed myself.
Back in November I was making this website in order to be creative and just kind of was making it just to make it.
But now I have almost gotten it to a place where I am ready to share it, and I also have two clients that I am making website for. While also being skilled at making digital art now and building these websites, I feel like I have obtained valuable skills which has been such a rewarding feeling.
It hasn’t been coding that much but I am happy that I have been dabbling with web designing and digital art making shenanigans.
You can sort of see my journey through out all of this.
I am about to head to the gym but wanted to write something since it has been a few days since I’ve written something. Peace and blessings y’all <3
Love always, Kyrin.
