DUDEEEE

So I am about to finish my 11th journal within the next few days and I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not, but I genuinely feel like I am ending a chapter and officially beginning a new one. I have cracked the fucking code (at least for this level that I am on in the game of life). But I have been practicing different laws of the universe/nature/whatever-the-fuck you call it, such as the law of attraction, detachment, and also learning how to be grateful no matter what my circumstances may be.

I have learned that if you can shift your mindset to always see the positive in something and continue to practice it, your world becomes a mirror. Like the As Above, So Below shit. Reality is literally just a mirror to whatever mindset/perspective we have on it.

If you believe that the world is a dangerous place, you are going to act/behave as if it is that, because that’s what your subconscious believes. If you believe the world is beautiful place, then your brain is going to search scenarios that back up that idea that you believe in your mind. If that makes sense?? I also hit my pen a little before typing this, so I just be thinking.

But being serious, I have really shifted my mindset a lot recently and have been grateful for just being alive. At the end of the day, life is never certain. ESPECIALLY in Florida. And even though life has been extremely difficult, I’ve noticed that it’s not going to get easier. Which means that I have to level up.

Today I saw on somebody’s t-shirt: “Evolve or repeat.” and that shit stuck with me.

I have been in a constant state of being broke and not being able to pay my bills (yes, my bills has been effected!!) and I am finally getting to a place where I don’t want this for myself anymore. I have this one life to play as this character (me, Kyrin Ledesma) and I really like being this character. So why not make it the most fun life and live the most awesome story? Like if you can envision a “perfect” life, where you are your best version of yourself and you are living a life full of love and abundance, you can literally create that reality. It’s going to be one of the most difficult journeys you have ever gone on, but you find yourself on the other side.

I made a dream board for the first time this past week and I am so shocked that I hadn’t made one prior.

In my dream board, I put an image of Fred again.. because his music has really helped me heal in a lot of areas in my life that I needed healing in. And I want to be able to do that with everyone that I come into contact with. I want to be a light in someone’s day because there’s so much shit going on all the time. And I see so much negativity every where I go, and it makes me really sad honestly.

But also, I get it. I’ve been there and fucking done that.

I’m just sick of thinking negative though because it has NEVER gotten me anywhere.

If anything I feel like it always made me worst off.

And now that I have shifted my mindset and have been focusing on the positive aspects of everything, I am more happy.

Like I have been so behind on bills, it’s not even funny. But I am so happy with all of the lessons that I have learned to get me to this point and I am so happy that I am accepting the challenge of getting out of this season in my life where I can not provide for myself.

I have a vision of what I want to be, who I want to be, where I want to be, and how I want to be. I finally am aiming at the target rather than just aiming at the direction if that makes sense. Like I feel like I know what I am aiming towards now and I just have to keep making baby steps until I get there. Like I created what I want my life to look like on paper, and now I just continue to work towards that and am happy with whatever progress I make because progress is progress.

In my vision board I also have pictures of an apartment I modeled at once for Ice Shakers® and Sunny Collabs. I wanted to get specific and know what I’m aiming towards. I also want my next place to be sentimental to me and during the photoshoot I had there, I was gifted a thermus that I manifested that I was going to get. Shit was like $100 in real life and I got it for free for the shoot.

But like what are the odds?!?!

Ever since then, i felt like the universe was giving me a little treat as if it was a lesson to just keep trying new shit and keep growing. The universe is giving asf. But idk I felt like it would be cute if I moved there because if my life was a movie/tv show, my photo shoot there would have been like a little easter egg for whatever season I end up moving there. Just makes life seem like it has some sort of meaning even though nothing matters :) - respectfully.

I have to go to bed because I am falling asleep at the keyboard but I will chat with you soon. Thank you for reading my little high thoughts. I appreciate you.

Much love and ya know..

I’ll see you on the flip side.

Love always, Kyrin.